"Saggin Pants"

This is powerful... something to think about... "Saggin Pants"



Pass this on Our Youth, Our Parents,
Our Black Men and Women


Letter from a college student


The other day, a friend of mine visited me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying. As we were chatting, two young freshmen came by. One of the two boys wanted to 'talk' to my friend (as in date)... She asked him how old they were, and both of the boys replied 18. My friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old. After my friend left, the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest.


The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants! He asked why, and then said he liked saggin ' his pants. I told him to come over to my computer and spell the word saggin'. Then I told him to write the word saggin ' backwards.


S-A-G-G-I-N

N-I-G- G-A-S

I told him the origin of that look was from centuries ago. It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other rigorous job. In addition, men in prison wore their pants low when they were 'spoken for'. The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide.

Also, saggin' pants prevents you from running.

We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. We are dying. The media has made a mockery of the Black American. Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don't take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world's perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No one is going to do that for us. It all comes down to perception. What people perceive is what reality to them is. We have to change not only the media's perception of us, but we need to change our perception of ourselves.


Remember all eyes are on you, Black Man. All eyes are on you, Black Woman. All eyes are on your Black Child. People point the finger at us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities, to manifest loud, boisterous behavior, to spend our hard earned money in their stores, buying goods we don't need, or really want. We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a 'sub-culture. ' They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, and consumers of junk food, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families. We are so much more!!!

To all our Black Men : It's time to stand up. There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground that you walk on. We are so in love with your potential. We want to have your back, we want to love, support, and cherish every ounce of your being. But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households. You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission. We need you to be hard working...Not a hustler. We need you to seek higher education, to seek spirituality. We need you to stand! And trust us; we will have your back. We know that it gets hard. We know you get weary. Trust and believe that there is nothing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can't handle with GOD on their side.


To all our Black Women : It is also time for you to stand up. It is time for you to stop using your bodies as your primary form of communication. It is time to be that virtuous woman that Proverbs spoke of. You cannot sit by the wayside while our men are dying by the masses. You are the epitome of Black Love. It starts within you. You need to speak with conviction to let not only our Black Men know, but the world, that you are the Mothers of this world. You are so powerful. You are so beautiful. You need to love and embrace every blessing God has given us physically, emotionally and spiritually.


For all our Black Children : We need to love them. We need to teach them. We need to stand up for them. We need to protect them. We need to show them that there are no 'get rich quick' schemes. We need to tell them that they WILL die trying if they submit to a life of crime and deceit. We need to teach our children that no one will love them the way we can. And being a basketball player, a rapper, or a drug dealer is not reality. It's not realistic and only a small percentage of people ever make it as a rapper or professional athlete. We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes. We can be the owners of these sports teams. We can be the CEO's of OUR fortune 500 companies.
We need to believe in literacy.


Please Keep This Going & Have a wonderful day.

'This is the year of empowerment. '
God will empower us to accomplish
things this year that will be mind blowing'. GOD BLESS, Ellis Henderson

Men Wear Make-Up Too!

It's a well know fact that women wear tight clothes, short clothes, high heel shoes, weaves, foundation, eye liner, blush, lipstick etc. to enhance their appearance... But men wear make-up too.

Men don't literally wear make-up... well some do... but that's another post. What men do is they wear expensive sneakers, shoes or boots, jeans or a shirt with the latest designer's name big as day all over, or drive expensive cars. But that's what I like to call smoke and mirrors.

Just like men like to see the tight jeans, high heel shoes, etc... Women like to see the expensive sneakers, designer clothes, and expensive cars. What about that persons personality? Are you really attracted to the person or the appearance? While talking to a friend I heard one of the most ludicrous things I ever heard. She said when she was younger she would date a guy based on the sneakers he wore! She also stated that she didn't return a guys phone calls because he had the audacity to come to her house in a car with cloth interior... not leather! Is a leather interior that serious? Women always complain there are no "Good Men"... well maybe he was a good man... he just had cloth interior... but he was never given the chance.

When David Copperfield performs a magic trick, he uses smoke and mirrors to distract your attention. But when you see beyond the smoke and mirrors you understand how the trick was performed. As long as men and women continue to be so shallow and be obsessed with the outward appearance you will never understand what's behind the smoke and mirrors... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Dating Women With Children

The older I become, the more difficult it becomes to find a woman without kids. There is nothing wrong with kids, but due to the fact that I don't have any... it's been my preference to date women without kids. That's exactly what it is... A Preference! Often times women with children get upset when I say I don't like to date women with kids. But just like tall or short, light or dark... black, white or other... It is a preference.

I have dated women with children, I have even lived with women that had children. Children can be fun, but some children do not receive the proper discipline. I've been wet by a water hose when I had a suit on, had things come up missing and of course the thing that men love to hear most when dating a woman with children... "You aren't my daddy!" So does that mean they don't have to listen? If you are dating a woman with a child... at what point is it appropriate to discipline the child... and to what extent? Can you yell at the child? Can you spank the child? Or does the child do what they want... when they want? If I do date a woman with a child, I prefer a young child... because if that is someone I am going to be with long term I can be more of an influence on the way the child is raised before they are set in their ways.

Another reason I shy away from dating women with children is because the child's father will still be in the woman's life. Most of the time the man has messed up so bad the woman doesn't want anything to do with him. But speaking from a mans perspective.... No man wants to imagine his ex having sex with another man... and giving an opportunity he would sleep with her again. Given the fact that a woman has a child by a man presents more opportunity for them to hook back up... So when she's dropping off little Johnny... that's not the only thing she's dropping.

Dating women with children also put limitations on the things that you can do. You may not be able to go out when you want to or stay up as late as you want. Children have a tendency to wake up early... ready to play! They don't want to watch the news, drink a cup of coffee, read the newspaper... they are ready to play... EARLY!!!

I have also dated women that didn't have the cutest kids... How are you suppose to handle that? They come home from school like... "The kids were making fun of me calling me ugly!" What am I suppose to say.... "WELLLLLL!!!!"

The older i become dating women with children is more a fact of life... So I guess I will have to adjust... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Misery Loves Company

We often hear the phrase "Misery Loves Company"... this is very true... Mentally, Emotionally and Financially. When you are consulting your friends for advise... have you evaluated their situation?

I am approaching the age of 40, I have never been married and I don't have any kids. I would eventually love to do these things, especially while my parents are still alive. When I am involved with someone I find that my friends never have anything positive to say. My female friends say negative things even if they haven't met her. My male friends don't have anything positive to say and they try to get me to go out more or try to get me to talk to other women. They say "No Man Is an Island", but I choose to stay to myself. I know a lot of people, but choose to involve myself with few. I made a conscious decision to eliminate the negative people from my life, which leads to a lot of time by myself... but when I am involved with somebody that allows me to focus 100% on that person without negative influence. Most of my friends have children and are divorced. If I allow them to influence my decisions I will never get married when they all say to avoid it.

Ladies, if you have met a man and everything seems great do your girlfriends have negative things to say? All men are the same... All men are dogs... Don't trust him girl!!! Are you letting the voice of your jaded girlfriends to influence your decision? This is your life and you have to make the decision on what will make you happy. Don't allow the bad choices that your friends have made influence your decision. I believe that people have a tendency to choose the same type of person... if your girlfriend chooses knucklehead after knucklehead you shouldn't be taking advise from her.

Do you have a friend that something bad always happens to? Are they always sick or have some type of ailment? Is something bad always happening to them or somebody they know? I run from those type of people. All that bad stuff is happening to them and people they know... let me get away from them before that bad stuff happens to me!!! This can be draining and have an effect on your life.

If you don't know... I am a fan of "Old School Rap" and EPMD said a long time ago... "If you hang with 9 broke friends you bound to be the 10th one". It is necessary to surround yourself with positive people and successful people. I always say, "It's not what you know... It's who you know". If you are in the circles of successful people you have a better chance of being successful. If you surround yourself with guys with no job and sit on the couch and play Playstation all day or women that don't want to do anything for themselves you are more likely to fall into one of those categories. It's time to change... The bible says "When I was a child... I thought i spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child... But when I became a man I put away those childish things" Not enough of us are putting away those childish things.... when we do... we will have better relationships. When I say childish things... I don't only mean Playstation... I mean childish mentalities.


Be careful about the type of people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who are miserable... you will be miserable. If you surround yourself with people that are successful financially and in good strong relationships, you have a better chance of be successful and in a productive relationship. Have you ever walked into a seafood store and noticed that the crabs never have a cover on the basket? Because anytime one of the crabs try to get out of the basket the other crabs pull him back down. People can be like crabs... because when you try to elevate to the next level they try to pull you back down... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Women are turning "Good Men" into "Not so Much"

We often hear women say there is a shortage of "Good Men". Again, I ask what exactly is a "Good Man"... attractive, good job, good build and good credit? Or can a good man be average looking, average job, average build and average credit? Or is it just a man that treats you good?



Whatever the description, the more women advertise that there are no "Good Men" the more men who consider themselves to be "Good Men" take advantage of the situation. "Good Men" realize there is a shortage of "Good Men" and women are willing to deal with this "Good Man" even if he is seeing more than one woman. So is he still a "Good Man"? Not So Much!

So I think it again goes back to qualifying exactly what's a "Good Man". If a man lives with his mother does that make him not a "Good Man"? What if he's saving up to buy a house or he's there to help his mother? What if he doesn't drive a nice car and lives in a one bedroom apartment... does this not qualify him as a good man? Are women so materialistic they can only see what a man for what he displays? Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's saving money? If he has a big car note and a big mortgage that's less money to spend on dates, travel, etc? What if his credit is good? The way the economy is a lot of people's credit has been effected. I hear radio ads all the time saying "GOOD CREDIT BAD CREDIT NO CREDIT DIVORCE REPO YOU CAN STILL BUY A CAR"!!! I have been a realtor for over 10 years and I have seen people straighten out their credit and buy a house. Even after a bankruptcy it is possible to buy a house FHA 2 years out of bankruptcy. Maybe he isn't good with money, but with your guidance he can be better.

Now that "Good Men" realize they can use their "Good Man Tag" to date more women... the few "Good Men" available might not be that "Good" anymore. Women have to start looking beyond the surface and look at a man's potential... You might be surprised at what you find... but that's just Trey's Opinion.

Why Don't Black Women Date Outside Their Race???

I have a question for black women. Why is it that only a small percentage of black women date outside of their race? Black men have been doing it for years. If the black man is not willing to commit to a black woman, marry a black woman or be a father to his children, then why wouldn’t you consider dating outside of your race? We are a dying race, so I am not trying to encourage it; however, if multitudes of our women can not find happiness in black men than I can not discourage it either.

I give a lot of credit to the black woman. She is the strongest woman on the planet. To be able to deal with the black mans unwillingness to commit, infidelity and willingness to date outside of his race effortlessly. She also raises our children, the majority of the time alone. And she still stands by her black man unwavering.

Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey in 2006. There are many reasons that this happens. One would be that black men are willing to shack up but never get married. We have all heard the phrase "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Another reason may be that once you are divorced he will lose half. Yet another reason is that women are becoming more educated and successful and may over achieve their male counterpart. Not to mention the men that date outside of their race, are on drugs, incarcerated, or on the down-low.
If there is a shortage of "Good" black men, then why limit yourself to black men? Why continue to be over-looked, disrespected, and mistreated? If a White, Asian, Latino or any other man for that matter is willing to put you on a pedestal, respect you and treat you good… why not give him the opportunity?

Is it the chocolate skin? Is it the myths about penis size? Is it a lack of chemistry? Is it fear of being ridiculed by family and friends? Males of other races may be more likely to have his stuff together and a plan for getting married and having children. It seems as if Asian women and Black men are both dating their white counterparts. A new trend is Asian men and Black women… Is this an option or just a trend? If black men are unwilling to step up to the plate than maybe you should consider another option. As long as you find somebody that treats you right and makes you happy... does it matter what they are?

I would like your feedback on dating outside of your race.

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Thanks,
Trey

The Voices In My Head? Is This Why Black Men Cheat???

I hear voices in my head! Does that make me crazy? Okay, maybe not voices but there is a conflict going on... id versus ego... maybe an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel always tells me to find a good girl and settle down, but the devil is awfully loud... The devil tells me it's fun to be single and date.

The angel is the voice of reason. It tells me it's time to stop running the streets and settle down and be in a committed relationship. The devil tells me it's more fun to be single... Hey, let's go to the club tonight. It's more fun to date multiple women. The angel tells me why are you here at the club... if you meet a woman here she was here last week... she's here this week and she'll be here next week... You won't find what you are looking for here. The devil tells me why are you sitting in the house... so what if she's not what you are looking for... she may not be Mrs Right... but we are looking or Mrs. Right Now.

The angel tells me if I have a good girl, that has my back, I should chill. The devil tells me she's a good girl, but there are so many beautiful women in the world.... are you sure you can't find a better one... Look at the girl that just walked into the 7 - Eleven. The angel tells me I want her to be the mother of my kids. The devil tells me she gets half my stuff.

We always want what we don't have. If you are single you want to be in a relationship, sometimes when you are in a relationship you want to be single.

I don't literally hear voices... but these thoughts do cross my mind. I don't know if this is the thought process for other men... But if it is, it could explain why black men do the things we do... Do they have any relationship Paxil? What can be done to change this? The sooner we find the answer... the sooner we will know why Black Men are afraid to commit... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

How to know if You are the ONE

One of my readers, Nichole, asks how long does it take for a man to know if you are the "ONE". This is a very difficult question to answer, and there is nothing written in stone. It will definitely depend on the individual and his maturity level.

Do you believe in love at first site? I don't... In the beginning it may be lust or infatuation. Is it love if the feeling isn't reciprocated? How do you know if you love the person if you really don't know the person. For the first 90 days both parties may be showing their representative. My mom told me a long time ago for the first 90 days everything should be great, but if you are already arguing during the first 90 days cut it off. After the first 90 days is the physical attraction the same? I am a strong believer in once the physical is gonna, it's the mental that keeps you attracted. Like I always say, there are exceptions to the rule and love at first site is possible.

After the first 90 days, and real life becomes involved... you know.... work, life, love, kids and bills... are the feelings still the same? If they are... cool... you are on the right track. But I am a strong believer in living with someone before you get married. You can date somebody or be committed to somebody... but until you live with them and realize their idiosyncrasies, you really don't know that person. I have dated some beautiful women, but they lived like pigs and I'm pretty anal so that would never work.

I always say, I have to date somebody for at least a year and a half before I know if they are the "ONE", and during that year and a half, best believe you will be going through a battery of tests.
I want to make sure we things in common, I want to make sure we can have fun together and I want to make sure we have common goals. If all that is in place then I want to make sure I am still physically and mentally attracted.

Like I said earlier... it also depends on his maturity level, is he ready for just "ONE"? Because if he isn't... you will never be the one. As I mentioned in previous post, every mans fear is that as soon as he settles, something better will come along. If he wants to keep one foot out the door, then you will never be the one.

So; to answer your question, how to know how long it determines a man to know if you are the one.... There is no answer. Some men will know immediately, it may take other men a while, and other men may never know. My favorite Prince song, "Sometimes It Snows In April" says it best... "Love isn't Love Until It's Gone". Do you ever wonder why men always come back to you after the relationship has ended and say you were the best girl he ever had? Because when he was with you he took you for granted. After the fact, he realizes what he had.

So the answer to your question, "How long does it take for a man to realize if you are the one?" Unfortunately, for most men, probably when it's too late... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

The Black Male Ego ~ FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE

The Male Ego in psychoanalysis, is the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. The male ego can push him to greater heights, but it can also make it very difficult to date him.

The Male Ego is a very fragile thing. We fight wars to increase the White Man's Ego. But The Black Man's Ego is a completely different topic. The Black Man's Ego is VERY sensitive and controls our behavior directly. From the minute you meet a guy it is already playing a part. Do you find that more unattractive men... or a man you wouldn't qualify on your level approach you than attractive men or men on your level? The lesser attractive man may have a high level of self confidence... either that or a higher tolerance for rejection!!! The more attractive guy may also have a big ego but may not have a high tolerance for rejection and to approach a female and be rejected may damage that sensitive ego. He may walk around for the next day or two like... "What happened? Did I have a boogie?"

The Black Male Ego effects almost every aspect of his life... even down to video games. The Black Male Ego causes him to be very competitive. Next time you are wrestling with your man... even if you have the ability... you may want to think twice before picking him up and body slamming him. I don't care if you are Lisa Leslie... let him win on the basketball court. Most importantly... Whatever you do... DO NOT BEAT HIM IN MADDEN 10!!!

One of my readers Shequita asks "Why can't men just say what is on their mind or what they feel?" The answer is quite simple! The Black Male Ego!!! If a guy wears his feelings on his sleeves, that puts him in a position of vulnerability. If he expresses his feelings they may not be reciprocated. He may feel this expression is a sign of weakness and will be used to manipulate him or even the worse possibility... make him looked "Whipped" to his friends. His friends and his ego have a huge impact on your relationship. A man wants to date an attractive woman so when he takes her around his friends he can flaunt her... he wants arm candy. As soon as she goes into the bathroom he is going to ask "What do you think? Is she fine?" If she doesn't receive the approval from his friends... her days are numbered! Most likely he will NEVER express how he feels about you to his friends in fear of facing criticism. I am going to talk about this in greater detail in an upcoming post. One of the reasons it is so hard for black women to find a good man or a man that doesn't cheat is because of the perception of his friends. Black men want to appear as if they are "Players" and date multiple women because that is perceived as cool to their friends. Being committed to one woman and being a good father is a lost concept.

The Black Male expects to be more powerful and earn more money when in a relationship. As mentioned in a previous post, the Black Male may not hold a position of power at his current place of employment... so when he comes home he expects to be in control. He expects to be the bread-winner and make decisions that effect the household. With women having more of a presence in the work place and earning equal or greater pay this may not be the case. That can be a devastating blow to the male ego. If you are living comfortable and are happy in your present situation, but he can not take you to the places you want to go or provide the extras... that may make him feel like less than a man. Until I was in my 30's I pretty much dated dependent women, as I got older and started to date women that actually had their own place and car and had a good job... It was a new experience and I was a little intimidated by this. After evaluating the situation, I realized that if you have 2 people with good incomes, working together towards a common goals it will be easier to achieve the American Dream.

The Black Male Ego has been damaged through slavery, the police, employers and women. This must be taken into consideration when dating the Black Male. The sooner you learn to understand the male ego... the better your relationships will be... but that's just Trey's Opinion!

I Can't take credit for this... but it's GOOD!!!

Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !

Girls Piss Me Off..

"can you tell im single"? ? ? I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay.

At least guys make sense most the time. First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the *%#^ you want. I don't care. But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the *%#^ are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me about some of the insane frivolous #^%# that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded #^%#!

Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden meaning in every other sentence. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you wind up making up some bull**** and believing that it must be true and acting on that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other than the fact that you're in-^~^#ing-sane.

Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in our ^~^#ing nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything, but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it. We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them. Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems when we do talk.

One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free *^!# if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior #*!^ing motive for you. Hint: They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is. And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times, you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The sky is *^!*ing blue goddammit! You're not *!~^ing fat! You're not *!~^ing ugly! You know it, I know it, everyone *!~^ing knows it! And ^*#! all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things. Yeah, all men are *^!*ing pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid *!~%. And yet you some how end up with all the a**holes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust fund. And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a nice a** while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich *^!%tard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando Bloom on Brad Pitts abs.. I know you've been dying to see that one. Girls...you piss me the *%~# off. You do stupid *^!* and manage to get away with it.... You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating thing of all. --YES IM STILL SINGLE

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