Men Wear Make-Up Too!

It's a well know fact that women wear tight clothes, short clothes, high heel shoes, weaves, foundation, eye liner, blush, lipstick etc. to enhance their appearance... But men wear make-up too.

Men don't literally wear make-up... well some do... but that's another post. What men do is they wear expensive sneakers, shoes or boots, jeans or a shirt with the latest designer's name big as day all over, or drive expensive cars. But that's what I like to call smoke and mirrors.

Just like men like to see the tight jeans, high heel shoes, etc... Women like to see the expensive sneakers, designer clothes, and expensive cars. What about that persons personality? Are you really attracted to the person or the appearance? While talking to a friend I heard one of the most ludicrous things I ever heard. She said when she was younger she would date a guy based on the sneakers he wore! She also stated that she didn't return a guys phone calls because he had the audacity to come to her house in a car with cloth interior... not leather! Is a leather interior that serious? Women always complain there are no "Good Men"... well maybe he was a good man... he just had cloth interior... but he was never given the chance.

When David Copperfield performs a magic trick, he uses smoke and mirrors to distract your attention. But when you see beyond the smoke and mirrors you understand how the trick was performed. As long as men and women continue to be so shallow and be obsessed with the outward appearance you will never understand what's behind the smoke and mirrors... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Dating Women With Children

The older I become, the more difficult it becomes to find a woman without kids. There is nothing wrong with kids, but due to the fact that I don't have any... it's been my preference to date women without kids. That's exactly what it is... A Preference! Often times women with children get upset when I say I don't like to date women with kids. But just like tall or short, light or dark... black, white or other... It is a preference.

I have dated women with children, I have even lived with women that had children. Children can be fun, but some children do not receive the proper discipline. I've been wet by a water hose when I had a suit on, had things come up missing and of course the thing that men love to hear most when dating a woman with children... "You aren't my daddy!" So does that mean they don't have to listen? If you are dating a woman with a child... at what point is it appropriate to discipline the child... and to what extent? Can you yell at the child? Can you spank the child? Or does the child do what they want... when they want? If I do date a woman with a child, I prefer a young child... because if that is someone I am going to be with long term I can be more of an influence on the way the child is raised before they are set in their ways.

Another reason I shy away from dating women with children is because the child's father will still be in the woman's life. Most of the time the man has messed up so bad the woman doesn't want anything to do with him. But speaking from a mans perspective.... No man wants to imagine his ex having sex with another man... and giving an opportunity he would sleep with her again. Given the fact that a woman has a child by a man presents more opportunity for them to hook back up... So when she's dropping off little Johnny... that's not the only thing she's dropping.

Dating women with children also put limitations on the things that you can do. You may not be able to go out when you want to or stay up as late as you want. Children have a tendency to wake up early... ready to play! They don't want to watch the news, drink a cup of coffee, read the newspaper... they are ready to play... EARLY!!!

I have also dated women that didn't have the cutest kids... How are you suppose to handle that? They come home from school like... "The kids were making fun of me calling me ugly!" What am I suppose to say.... "WELLLLLL!!!!"

The older i become dating women with children is more a fact of life... So I guess I will have to adjust... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Misery Loves Company

We often hear the phrase "Misery Loves Company"... this is very true... Mentally, Emotionally and Financially. When you are consulting your friends for advise... have you evaluated their situation?

I am approaching the age of 40, I have never been married and I don't have any kids. I would eventually love to do these things, especially while my parents are still alive. When I am involved with someone I find that my friends never have anything positive to say. My female friends say negative things even if they haven't met her. My male friends don't have anything positive to say and they try to get me to go out more or try to get me to talk to other women. They say "No Man Is an Island", but I choose to stay to myself. I know a lot of people, but choose to involve myself with few. I made a conscious decision to eliminate the negative people from my life, which leads to a lot of time by myself... but when I am involved with somebody that allows me to focus 100% on that person without negative influence. Most of my friends have children and are divorced. If I allow them to influence my decisions I will never get married when they all say to avoid it.

Ladies, if you have met a man and everything seems great do your girlfriends have negative things to say? All men are the same... All men are dogs... Don't trust him girl!!! Are you letting the voice of your jaded girlfriends to influence your decision? This is your life and you have to make the decision on what will make you happy. Don't allow the bad choices that your friends have made influence your decision. I believe that people have a tendency to choose the same type of person... if your girlfriend chooses knucklehead after knucklehead you shouldn't be taking advise from her.

Do you have a friend that something bad always happens to? Are they always sick or have some type of ailment? Is something bad always happening to them or somebody they know? I run from those type of people. All that bad stuff is happening to them and people they know... let me get away from them before that bad stuff happens to me!!! This can be draining and have an effect on your life.

If you don't know... I am a fan of "Old School Rap" and EPMD said a long time ago... "If you hang with 9 broke friends you bound to be the 10th one". It is necessary to surround yourself with positive people and successful people. I always say, "It's not what you know... It's who you know". If you are in the circles of successful people you have a better chance of being successful. If you surround yourself with guys with no job and sit on the couch and play Playstation all day or women that don't want to do anything for themselves you are more likely to fall into one of those categories. It's time to change... The bible says "When I was a child... I thought i spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child... But when I became a man I put away those childish things" Not enough of us are putting away those childish things.... when we do... we will have better relationships. When I say childish things... I don't only mean Playstation... I mean childish mentalities.


Be careful about the type of people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who are miserable... you will be miserable. If you surround yourself with people that are successful financially and in good strong relationships, you have a better chance of be successful and in a productive relationship. Have you ever walked into a seafood store and noticed that the crabs never have a cover on the basket? Because anytime one of the crabs try to get out of the basket the other crabs pull him back down. People can be like crabs... because when you try to elevate to the next level they try to pull you back down... But that's just Trey's Opinion.

Women are turning "Good Men" into "Not so Much"

We often hear women say there is a shortage of "Good Men". Again, I ask what exactly is a "Good Man"... attractive, good job, good build and good credit? Or can a good man be average looking, average job, average build and average credit? Or is it just a man that treats you good?



Whatever the description, the more women advertise that there are no "Good Men" the more men who consider themselves to be "Good Men" take advantage of the situation. "Good Men" realize there is a shortage of "Good Men" and women are willing to deal with this "Good Man" even if he is seeing more than one woman. So is he still a "Good Man"? Not So Much!

So I think it again goes back to qualifying exactly what's a "Good Man". If a man lives with his mother does that make him not a "Good Man"? What if he's saving up to buy a house or he's there to help his mother? What if he doesn't drive a nice car and lives in a one bedroom apartment... does this not qualify him as a good man? Are women so materialistic they can only see what a man for what he displays? Did you ever stop to think that maybe he's saving money? If he has a big car note and a big mortgage that's less money to spend on dates, travel, etc? What if his credit is good? The way the economy is a lot of people's credit has been effected. I hear radio ads all the time saying "GOOD CREDIT BAD CREDIT NO CREDIT DIVORCE REPO YOU CAN STILL BUY A CAR"!!! I have been a realtor for over 10 years and I have seen people straighten out their credit and buy a house. Even after a bankruptcy it is possible to buy a house FHA 2 years out of bankruptcy. Maybe he isn't good with money, but with your guidance he can be better.

Now that "Good Men" realize they can use their "Good Man Tag" to date more women... the few "Good Men" available might not be that "Good" anymore. Women have to start looking beyond the surface and look at a man's potential... You might be surprised at what you find... but that's just Trey's Opinion.

Why Don't Black Women Date Outside Their Race???

I have a question for black women. Why is it that only a small percentage of black women date outside of their race? Black men have been doing it for years. If the black man is not willing to commit to a black woman, marry a black woman or be a father to his children, then why wouldn’t you consider dating outside of your race? We are a dying race, so I am not trying to encourage it; however, if multitudes of our women can not find happiness in black men than I can not discourage it either.

I give a lot of credit to the black woman. She is the strongest woman on the planet. To be able to deal with the black mans unwillingness to commit, infidelity and willingness to date outside of his race effortlessly. She also raises our children, the majority of the time alone. And she still stands by her black man unwavering.

Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey in 2006. There are many reasons that this happens. One would be that black men are willing to shack up but never get married. We have all heard the phrase "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Another reason may be that once you are divorced he will lose half. Yet another reason is that women are becoming more educated and successful and may over achieve their male counterpart. Not to mention the men that date outside of their race, are on drugs, incarcerated, or on the down-low.
If there is a shortage of "Good" black men, then why limit yourself to black men? Why continue to be over-looked, disrespected, and mistreated? If a White, Asian, Latino or any other man for that matter is willing to put you on a pedestal, respect you and treat you good… why not give him the opportunity?

Is it the chocolate skin? Is it the myths about penis size? Is it a lack of chemistry? Is it fear of being ridiculed by family and friends? Males of other races may be more likely to have his stuff together and a plan for getting married and having children. It seems as if Asian women and Black men are both dating their white counterparts. A new trend is Asian men and Black women… Is this an option or just a trend? If black men are unwilling to step up to the plate than maybe you should consider another option. As long as you find somebody that treats you right and makes you happy... does it matter what they are?

I would like your feedback on dating outside of your race.

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Thanks,
Trey