I hear voices in my head! Does that make me crazy? Okay, maybe not voices but there is a conflict going on... id versus ego... maybe an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel always tells me to find a good girl and settle down, but the devil is awfully loud... The devil tells me it's fun to be single and date.
The angel is the voice of reason. It tells me it's time to stop running the streets and settle down and be in a committed relationship. The devil tells me it's more fun to be single... Hey, let's go to the club tonight. It's more fun to date multiple women. The angel tells me why are you here at the club... if you meet a woman here she was here last week... she's here this week and she'll be here next week... You won't find what you are looking for here. The devil tells me why are you sitting in the house... so what if she's not what you are looking for... she may not be Mrs Right... but we are looking or Mrs. Right Now.
The angel tells me if I have a good girl, that has my back, I should chill. The devil tells me she's a good girl, but there are so many beautiful women in the world.... are you sure you can't find a better one... Look at the girl that just walked into the 7 - Eleven. The angel tells me I want her to be the mother of my kids. The devil tells me she gets half my stuff.
We always want what we don't have. If you are single you want to be in a relationship, sometimes when you are in a relationship you want to be single.
I don't literally hear voices... but these thoughts do cross my mind. I don't know if this is the thought process for other men... But if it is, it could explain why black men do the things we do... Do they have any relationship Paxil? What can be done to change this? The sooner we find the answer... the sooner we will know why Black Men are afraid to commit... But that's just Trey's Opinion.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
How to know if You are the ONE
One of my readers, Nichole, asks how long does it take for a man to know if you are the "ONE". This is a very difficult question to answer, and there is nothing written in stone. It will definitely depend on the individual and his maturity level.
Do you believe in love at first site? I don't... In the beginning it may be lust or infatuation. Is it love if the feeling isn't reciprocated? How do you know if you love the person if you really don't know the person. For the first 90 days both parties may be showing their representative. My mom told me a long time ago for the first 90 days everything should be great, but if you are already arguing during the first 90 days cut it off. After the first 90 days is the physical attraction the same? I am a strong believer in once the physical is gonna, it's the mental that keeps you attracted. Like I always say, there are exceptions to the rule and love at first site is possible.
After the first 90 days, and real life becomes involved... you know.... work, life, love, kids and bills... are the feelings still the same? If they are... cool... you are on the right track. But I am a strong believer in living with someone before you get married. You can date somebody or be committed to somebody... but until you live with them and realize their idiosyncrasies, you really don't know that person. I have dated some beautiful women, but they lived like pigs and I'm pretty anal so that would never work.
I always say, I have to date somebody for at least a year and a half before I know if they are the "ONE", and during that year and a half, best believe you will be going through a battery of tests.
I want to make sure we things in common, I want to make sure we can have fun together and I want to make sure we have common goals. If all that is in place then I want to make sure I am still physically and mentally attracted.
Like I said earlier... it also depends on his maturity level, is he ready for just "ONE"? Because if he isn't... you will never be the one. As I mentioned in previous post, every mans fear is that as soon as he settles, something better will come along. If he wants to keep one foot out the door, then you will never be the one.
So; to answer your question, how to know how long it determines a man to know if you are the one.... There is no answer. Some men will know immediately, it may take other men a while, and other men may never know. My favorite Prince song, "Sometimes It Snows In April" says it best... "Love isn't Love Until It's Gone". Do you ever wonder why men always come back to you after the relationship has ended and say you were the best girl he ever had? Because when he was with you he took you for granted. After the fact, he realizes what he had.
So the answer to your question, "How long does it take for a man to realize if you are the one?" Unfortunately, for most men, probably when it's too late... But that's just Trey's Opinion.
Do you believe in love at first site? I don't... In the beginning it may be lust or infatuation. Is it love if the feeling isn't reciprocated? How do you know if you love the person if you really don't know the person. For the first 90 days both parties may be showing their representative. My mom told me a long time ago for the first 90 days everything should be great, but if you are already arguing during the first 90 days cut it off. After the first 90 days is the physical attraction the same? I am a strong believer in once the physical is gonna, it's the mental that keeps you attracted. Like I always say, there are exceptions to the rule and love at first site is possible.
After the first 90 days, and real life becomes involved... you know.... work, life, love, kids and bills... are the feelings still the same? If they are... cool... you are on the right track. But I am a strong believer in living with someone before you get married. You can date somebody or be committed to somebody... but until you live with them and realize their idiosyncrasies, you really don't know that person. I have dated some beautiful women, but they lived like pigs and I'm pretty anal so that would never work.
I always say, I have to date somebody for at least a year and a half before I know if they are the "ONE", and during that year and a half, best believe you will be going through a battery of tests.
I want to make sure we things in common, I want to make sure we can have fun together and I want to make sure we have common goals. If all that is in place then I want to make sure I am still physically and mentally attracted.
Like I said earlier... it also depends on his maturity level, is he ready for just "ONE"? Because if he isn't... you will never be the one. As I mentioned in previous post, every mans fear is that as soon as he settles, something better will come along. If he wants to keep one foot out the door, then you will never be the one.
So; to answer your question, how to know how long it determines a man to know if you are the one.... There is no answer. Some men will know immediately, it may take other men a while, and other men may never know. My favorite Prince song, "Sometimes It Snows In April" says it best... "Love isn't Love Until It's Gone". Do you ever wonder why men always come back to you after the relationship has ended and say you were the best girl he ever had? Because when he was with you he took you for granted. After the fact, he realizes what he had.
So the answer to your question, "How long does it take for a man to realize if you are the one?" Unfortunately, for most men, probably when it's too late... But that's just Trey's Opinion.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Black Male Ego ~ FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE
The Male Ego in psychoanalysis, is the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. The male ego can push him to greater heights, but it can also make it very difficult to date him.
The Male Ego is a very fragile thing. We fight wars to increase the White Man's Ego. But The Black Man's Ego is a completely different topic. The Black Man's Ego is VERY sensitive and controls our behavior directly. From the minute you meet a guy it is already playing a part. Do you find that more unattractive men... or a man you wouldn't qualify on your level approach you than attractive men or men on your level? The lesser attractive man may have a high level of self confidence... either that or a higher tolerance for rejection!!! The more attractive guy may also have a big ego but may not have a high tolerance for rejection and to approach a female and be rejected may damage that sensitive ego. He may walk around for the next day or two like... "What happened? Did I have a boogie?"
The Black Male Ego effects almost every aspect of his life... even down to video games. The Black Male Ego causes him to be very competitive. Next time you are wrestling with your man... even if you have the ability... you may want to think twice before picking him up and body slamming him. I don't care if you are Lisa Leslie... let him win on the basketball court. Most importantly... Whatever you do... DO NOT BEAT HIM IN MADDEN 10!!!
One of my readers Shequita asks "Why can't men just say what is on their mind or what they feel?" The answer is quite simple! The Black Male Ego!!! If a guy wears his feelings on his sleeves, that puts him in a position of vulnerability. If he expresses his feelings they may not be reciprocated. He may feel this expression is a sign of weakness and will be used to manipulate him or even the worse possibility... make him looked "Whipped" to his friends. His friends and his ego have a huge impact on your relationship. A man wants to date an attractive woman so when he takes her around his friends he can flaunt her... he wants arm candy. As soon as she goes into the bathroom he is going to ask "What do you think? Is she fine?" If she doesn't receive the approval from his friends... her days are numbered! Most likely he will NEVER express how he feels about you to his friends in fear of facing criticism. I am going to talk about this in greater detail in an upcoming post. One of the reasons it is so hard for black women to find a good man or a man that doesn't cheat is because of the perception of his friends. Black men want to appear as if they are "Players" and date multiple women because that is perceived as cool to their friends. Being committed to one woman and being a good father is a lost concept.
The Black Male expects to be more powerful and earn more money when in a relationship. As mentioned in a previous post, the Black Male may not hold a position of power at his current place of employment... so when he comes home he expects to be in control. He expects to be the bread-winner and make decisions that effect the household. With women having more of a presence in the work place and earning equal or greater pay this may not be the case. That can be a devastating blow to the male ego. If you are living comfortable and are happy in your present situation, but he can not take you to the places you want to go or provide the extras... that may make him feel like less than a man. Until I was in my 30's I pretty much dated dependent women, as I got older and started to date women that actually had their own place and car and had a good job... It was a new experience and I was a little intimidated by this. After evaluating the situation, I realized that if you have 2 people with good incomes, working together towards a common goals it will be easier to achieve the American Dream.
The Black Male Ego has been damaged through slavery, the police, employers and women. This must be taken into consideration when dating the Black Male. The sooner you learn to understand the male ego... the better your relationships will be... but that's just Trey's Opinion!
The Male Ego is a very fragile thing. We fight wars to increase the White Man's Ego. But The Black Man's Ego is a completely different topic. The Black Man's Ego is VERY sensitive and controls our behavior directly. From the minute you meet a guy it is already playing a part. Do you find that more unattractive men... or a man you wouldn't qualify on your level approach you than attractive men or men on your level? The lesser attractive man may have a high level of self confidence... either that or a higher tolerance for rejection!!! The more attractive guy may also have a big ego but may not have a high tolerance for rejection and to approach a female and be rejected may damage that sensitive ego. He may walk around for the next day or two like... "What happened? Did I have a boogie?"
The Black Male Ego effects almost every aspect of his life... even down to video games. The Black Male Ego causes him to be very competitive. Next time you are wrestling with your man... even if you have the ability... you may want to think twice before picking him up and body slamming him. I don't care if you are Lisa Leslie... let him win on the basketball court. Most importantly... Whatever you do... DO NOT BEAT HIM IN MADDEN 10!!!
One of my readers Shequita asks "Why can't men just say what is on their mind or what they feel?" The answer is quite simple! The Black Male Ego!!! If a guy wears his feelings on his sleeves, that puts him in a position of vulnerability. If he expresses his feelings they may not be reciprocated. He may feel this expression is a sign of weakness and will be used to manipulate him or even the worse possibility... make him looked "Whipped" to his friends. His friends and his ego have a huge impact on your relationship. A man wants to date an attractive woman so when he takes her around his friends he can flaunt her... he wants arm candy. As soon as she goes into the bathroom he is going to ask "What do you think? Is she fine?" If she doesn't receive the approval from his friends... her days are numbered! Most likely he will NEVER express how he feels about you to his friends in fear of facing criticism. I am going to talk about this in greater detail in an upcoming post. One of the reasons it is so hard for black women to find a good man or a man that doesn't cheat is because of the perception of his friends. Black men want to appear as if they are "Players" and date multiple women because that is perceived as cool to their friends. Being committed to one woman and being a good father is a lost concept.
The Black Male expects to be more powerful and earn more money when in a relationship. As mentioned in a previous post, the Black Male may not hold a position of power at his current place of employment... so when he comes home he expects to be in control. He expects to be the bread-winner and make decisions that effect the household. With women having more of a presence in the work place and earning equal or greater pay this may not be the case. That can be a devastating blow to the male ego. If you are living comfortable and are happy in your present situation, but he can not take you to the places you want to go or provide the extras... that may make him feel like less than a man. Until I was in my 30's I pretty much dated dependent women, as I got older and started to date women that actually had their own place and car and had a good job... It was a new experience and I was a little intimidated by this. After evaluating the situation, I realized that if you have 2 people with good incomes, working together towards a common goals it will be easier to achieve the American Dream.
The Black Male Ego has been damaged through slavery, the police, employers and women. This must be taken into consideration when dating the Black Male. The sooner you learn to understand the male ego... the better your relationships will be... but that's just Trey's Opinion!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I Can't take credit for this... but it's GOOD!!!
Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !
Girls Piss Me Off..
"can you tell im single"? ? ? I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay.
At least guys make sense most the time. First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the *%#^ you want. I don't care. But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the *%#^ are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me about some of the insane frivolous #^%# that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded #^%#!
Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden meaning in every other sentence. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you wind up making up some bull**** and believing that it must be true and acting on that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other than the fact that you're in-^~^#ing-sane.
Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in our ^~^#ing nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything, but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it. We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them. Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems when we do talk.
One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free *^!# if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior #*!^ing motive for you. Hint: They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is. And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times, you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The sky is *^!*ing blue goddammit! You're not *!~^ing fat! You're not *!~^ing ugly! You know it, I know it, everyone *!~^ing knows it! And ^*#! all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things. Yeah, all men are *^!*ing pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid *!~%. And yet you some how end up with all the a**holes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust fund. And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a nice a** while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich *^!%tard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando Bloom on Brad Pitts abs.. I know you've been dying to see that one. Girls...you piss me the *%~# off. You do stupid *^!* and manage to get away with it.... You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating thing of all. --YES IM STILL SINGLE
author unknown
Girls Piss Me Off..
"can you tell im single"? ? ? I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay.
At least guys make sense most the time. First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the *%#^ you want. I don't care. But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the *%#^ are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me about some of the insane frivolous #^%# that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded #^%#!
Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden meaning in every other sentence. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you wind up making up some bull**** and believing that it must be true and acting on that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other than the fact that you're in-^~^#ing-sane.
Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in our ^~^#ing nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything, but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it. We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them. Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems when we do talk.
One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free *^!# if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior #*!^ing motive for you. Hint: They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is. And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times, you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The sky is *^!*ing blue goddammit! You're not *!~^ing fat! You're not *!~^ing ugly! You know it, I know it, everyone *!~^ing knows it! And ^*#! all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things. Yeah, all men are *^!*ing pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid *!~%. And yet you some how end up with all the a**holes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust fund. And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a nice a** while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich *^!%tard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando Bloom on Brad Pitts abs.. I know you've been dying to see that one. Girls...you piss me the *%~# off. You do stupid *^!* and manage to get away with it.... You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating thing of all. --YES IM STILL SINGLE
author unknown
Why Black Men Date Outside Of Their Race
I know this is going to be a sensitive subject... so if you have thin skin... PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!! As always, this is only my opinion... I can't speak for all black men... I can only tell it from my perspective.
Personally I do not discriminate due to race creed or color. I have dated white girls, girls from Burma, the Philippines, Guyana, Mulatto, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Costa Rica, South Africa, West Africa, Brazil, London, Poland, Mexico and other parts of the world. For me it wasn't that I was pursuing a certain thing... I found the woman attractive. Don't get it twisted the majority of the women I have dated have been black. I've dated extremely light skinned women to women so dark when they got out the car the oil light came on... so dark they would walk down the street and the lights would come on... so dark they had to get a tattoo in white.
First of all, I believe from my experience I am stereotyped by black women... So a woman from around the way may not find me to be her type... but if that same woman saw me with a woman from another race, I would be a sell out. Well, if I'm not your type of guy you shouldn't be concerned who I am with. A lot of women say I look like I date white women, but I have never been in a relationship with a white woman.
Secondly, I find that dating women from other countries... and I don't mean you are Dominican but you were born and raised in America... I mean a woman that has only been here for a few months or years is more appreciative of the smaller things. A woman that is born and raised in New Jersey, if you take her to Atlantic City... it's like "I've been here 100 times... the last guy I was here with got a better room... etc, etc, etc." instead of enjoying the fact that your man tried to do something nice. But a woman that has never been to Atlantic City will appreciate it a lot more because it's a new experience. There are also less likely to be "Americanized", meaning it's not all about the money or what he has... it's more about him. (It might be about a green card! But that's another topic!) Plus an accent is always cute.
But I guess the question would be why do Black Men shy away from Black Women. One reason would be that women are becoming more and more independent. Being independent is a good thing (See previous post) but again... you have to let a man be a man, and a lot of women have a hard time doing that. It's getting to the point that women are becoming so independent it makes black men feel as if they aren't needed. As long as she has some "D" batteries she will be ok.
Another reason is they will not consider a blue collar man. Good men are being overlooked because of their profession or income level. (See previous post) A lot of women expect a man to be earning a six figure income where they can just step in and go shopping, live in the big house and drive the nice car. There isn't really a desire to build things together and take it to the next level.
Black women have been said to be hot headed and have bad attitudes. Personally I think this doesn't waiver between races... but ya'll got too much enjoyment out of the song "I bust the windows out your car"
It's also said that black women stop caring about your appearance. Men are visual creatures... once you get us, you can't stop doing your hair and just coming over in a pair of sweat pants. Continue to do what you did to get us.
It's been said that black women are as sexually open as other women. I haven't found this to be true... but that's from my experience... as a matter of fact my best sexual experiences have been with dark skinned women.
Black women do not seem to be empathetic to the black mans struggle in White America. Women may think that this does not exist... but it is real! I have worked in offices for years and even though I am considered a "Safe Negro" they still look at me as a threat. We may be over-looked for jobs, promotions, or opportunities because of the color of our skin. We need our women to understand this. Remember the song with Method Man and Mary J. Blige "All I Need" sometimes we need you to rub us on our back and say it's gonna be okay.
It's also been said that black women do not cater to their men. When I was in Dominican Republic the women prepared dinner, the men sat down and ate, and the women ate what was left over. Now that's a little extreme; however, you do need to make your man feel appreciated.
Why do black men date white women? I have never seen my best friend of 30 years date a black woman... maybe 1! I believe he does this because a lot of them have low self esteem (They are usually average to below average looking, which fits into the stereotype of black men going out with less attractive white women). They are easier to manipulate so he can get what he wants from them. He can get sex from them easier without spending a lot of money and they are nastier. White women will also take abuse from black men and do anything to keep their man. White women are still considered trophies or a symbol they "Made It" which I feel dates back to the days of slavery where a black man could not even make eye contact with a white women. It's also believed that white women make it easier to get away... they don't have you all tied up with child support etc. White women will also buy things and co-sign for cars and stuff!!!
I think other reasons men date outside of their race is because of the physical attributes of other races. One reason would be hair. Some women from other races have long hair or "Good Hair" and some men find this attractive. Like I said in a previous post, I don't have a problem with weaves... but we all know you can't mess with most black woman's hair! Women from different parts of the world have exotic looks. Dating a Puerto Rican woman or Dominican woman... what I like to call "The other white meat" allows you to get the beautiful skin tones, nice hair and still get a girl with a nice booty (and the attitude)... even white girls have booties now-a-days!
All in all, I love women of all races! Women are beautiful... they come in all different colors and shapes and sizes. We are all people, if you are attracted to a man or a woman from a different race that treats you good and makes you happy then we should all be open to it without being criticized but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Personally I do not discriminate due to race creed or color. I have dated white girls, girls from Burma, the Philippines, Guyana, Mulatto, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Costa Rica, South Africa, West Africa, Brazil, London, Poland, Mexico and other parts of the world. For me it wasn't that I was pursuing a certain thing... I found the woman attractive. Don't get it twisted the majority of the women I have dated have been black. I've dated extremely light skinned women to women so dark when they got out the car the oil light came on... so dark they would walk down the street and the lights would come on... so dark they had to get a tattoo in white.
First of all, I believe from my experience I am stereotyped by black women... So a woman from around the way may not find me to be her type... but if that same woman saw me with a woman from another race, I would be a sell out. Well, if I'm not your type of guy you shouldn't be concerned who I am with. A lot of women say I look like I date white women, but I have never been in a relationship with a white woman.
Secondly, I find that dating women from other countries... and I don't mean you are Dominican but you were born and raised in America... I mean a woman that has only been here for a few months or years is more appreciative of the smaller things. A woman that is born and raised in New Jersey, if you take her to Atlantic City... it's like "I've been here 100 times... the last guy I was here with got a better room... etc, etc, etc." instead of enjoying the fact that your man tried to do something nice. But a woman that has never been to Atlantic City will appreciate it a lot more because it's a new experience. There are also less likely to be "Americanized", meaning it's not all about the money or what he has... it's more about him. (It might be about a green card! But that's another topic!) Plus an accent is always cute.
But I guess the question would be why do Black Men shy away from Black Women. One reason would be that women are becoming more and more independent. Being independent is a good thing (See previous post) but again... you have to let a man be a man, and a lot of women have a hard time doing that. It's getting to the point that women are becoming so independent it makes black men feel as if they aren't needed. As long as she has some "D" batteries she will be ok.
Another reason is they will not consider a blue collar man. Good men are being overlooked because of their profession or income level. (See previous post) A lot of women expect a man to be earning a six figure income where they can just step in and go shopping, live in the big house and drive the nice car. There isn't really a desire to build things together and take it to the next level.
Black women have been said to be hot headed and have bad attitudes. Personally I think this doesn't waiver between races... but ya'll got too much enjoyment out of the song "I bust the windows out your car"
It's also said that black women stop caring about your appearance. Men are visual creatures... once you get us, you can't stop doing your hair and just coming over in a pair of sweat pants. Continue to do what you did to get us.
It's been said that black women are as sexually open as other women. I haven't found this to be true... but that's from my experience... as a matter of fact my best sexual experiences have been with dark skinned women.
Black women do not seem to be empathetic to the black mans struggle in White America. Women may think that this does not exist... but it is real! I have worked in offices for years and even though I am considered a "Safe Negro" they still look at me as a threat. We may be over-looked for jobs, promotions, or opportunities because of the color of our skin. We need our women to understand this. Remember the song with Method Man and Mary J. Blige "All I Need" sometimes we need you to rub us on our back and say it's gonna be okay.
It's also been said that black women do not cater to their men. When I was in Dominican Republic the women prepared dinner, the men sat down and ate, and the women ate what was left over. Now that's a little extreme; however, you do need to make your man feel appreciated.
Why do black men date white women? I have never seen my best friend of 30 years date a black woman... maybe 1! I believe he does this because a lot of them have low self esteem (They are usually average to below average looking, which fits into the stereotype of black men going out with less attractive white women). They are easier to manipulate so he can get what he wants from them. He can get sex from them easier without spending a lot of money and they are nastier. White women will also take abuse from black men and do anything to keep their man. White women are still considered trophies or a symbol they "Made It" which I feel dates back to the days of slavery where a black man could not even make eye contact with a white women. It's also believed that white women make it easier to get away... they don't have you all tied up with child support etc. White women will also buy things and co-sign for cars and stuff!!!
I think other reasons men date outside of their race is because of the physical attributes of other races. One reason would be hair. Some women from other races have long hair or "Good Hair" and some men find this attractive. Like I said in a previous post, I don't have a problem with weaves... but we all know you can't mess with most black woman's hair! Women from different parts of the world have exotic looks. Dating a Puerto Rican woman or Dominican woman... what I like to call "The other white meat" allows you to get the beautiful skin tones, nice hair and still get a girl with a nice booty (and the attitude)... even white girls have booties now-a-days!
All in all, I love women of all races! Women are beautiful... they come in all different colors and shapes and sizes. We are all people, if you are attracted to a man or a woman from a different race that treats you good and makes you happy then we should all be open to it without being criticized but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Answering The Questions Women REALLY Want the Answers To
I am here to answer the questions women would like to know the REAL answers to from a males point of view.
So send me questions and I will answer them for you... I just hope too many men don't get mad for revealing our secrets!!!
Please become a follower.
Send me your questions!
Post your opinions and comments!
Tell Your Friends!
Let me know what you think!
Let's Make This Fun And Interesting!
Thanks, Trey
So send me questions and I will answer them for you... I just hope too many men don't get mad for revealing our secrets!!!
Please become a follower.
Send me your questions!
Post your opinions and comments!
Tell Your Friends!
Let me know what you think!
Let's Make This Fun And Interesting!
Thanks, Trey
Monday, August 17, 2009
Why Do Black Men Cheat???
Ok... I'm gonna try to talk about the question I am sure you are all dying to hear the answer. Now remember this is only Trey's Opinion... so I can only give it to you from my perspective.
I consider myself to be a pretty faithful guy... to the point where my male friends are amazed; however, if I am dating that's a different story. Now once I have made the commitment that it will be me and that person... that's what it is. When the love making becomes boring or routine I will purchase outfits or make suggestions for improvement. If that doesn't work, I will end the relationship before I cheat.
So... Why do black men cheat? There are numerous reason why black men cheat. It may be Primal Instinct... It may be the need to conquer as many women as possible... But I think it's much deeper than that.
Three out of four men cheat... why? For one reason, it's easier than ever before! With the assistance of advance technology such as cell phones, email, voicemail and the Internet it's much easier to maintain contact with that mistress. MySpace, Match.com, BlackPeoplemeet and other dating websites make it easier than ever to reach out to women that he may have never been able to contact before and be discrete with his communication.
There are more women in the workplace and lunch with a co-worker can lead to a lot more now. Men or women in power may use their power to get what they want... including your man! You spend 40+ hours per week with your co-workers... depending on your schedules... you may not spend that with your spouse.
Sometimes a man needs to reassure himself... he wants to make sure "He still has it" and by cheating, that will confirm that he does. The male ego is a very delicate thing and needs to be stroked from time to time. There may also be self esteem issues, where it is necessary to make himself feel better... or he is unable to be in a productive relationship because he is unhappy with himself.
WHAT A RUSH... It could be just for the adrenaline. Sneaking around without getting caught. Going back to the thrill of the chase. Remember when you first started making love to your partner? There was a lot more foreplay... a lot more passion... but now it's just like hurry up and let me get some before I go to sleep. The need to get back to that original passion may be the driving force.
This is 2009 and women are going for what they want, including your man. Women are initiating these extra marital affairs as well. Do you get mad if your man comes home and he doesn't have his wedding ring on? This may actually be a good thing. Many of my married friends say that having that wedding band on is like a magnet. Women know they can get what they want without a commitment. (Yes there are women out there too that want to have sex without commitment.) I was thinking about going out and buying a wedding band and wearing it to the club!
You have to stop allowing it to happen. That's Right! One of the reasons it happens is because you allow it. How many times has a man cheated on you and sweet talked his way back into your bed? Promised it wouldn't happen again? Or would you would rather deal with a cheating man than be alone? If he cheated on you when you were his girlfriend or fiancee... he's probably gonna cheat when he's your husband.
Women often say absence makes the heart grow fonder... which may be true. But don't become to involved in playing the "unavailable" game. Men say while the cats away the mouse will play. It's true that spending too much time with your mate will make the relationship become routine a lot faster, but it's necessary to have that balance so he doesn't find someone else to fill that free time.
I believe I touched on this in one of my previous posts... If a man eats lobster every day for 365 days, eventually he's gonna want a hamburger. So the answer to the reason why men cheat is because... the only thing better than a cookie... is a new cookie! But that's just Trey's Opinion.
I consider myself to be a pretty faithful guy... to the point where my male friends are amazed; however, if I am dating that's a different story. Now once I have made the commitment that it will be me and that person... that's what it is. When the love making becomes boring or routine I will purchase outfits or make suggestions for improvement. If that doesn't work, I will end the relationship before I cheat.
So... Why do black men cheat? There are numerous reason why black men cheat. It may be Primal Instinct... It may be the need to conquer as many women as possible... But I think it's much deeper than that.
Three out of four men cheat... why? For one reason, it's easier than ever before! With the assistance of advance technology such as cell phones, email, voicemail and the Internet it's much easier to maintain contact with that mistress. MySpace, Match.com, BlackPeoplemeet and other dating websites make it easier than ever to reach out to women that he may have never been able to contact before and be discrete with his communication.
There are more women in the workplace and lunch with a co-worker can lead to a lot more now. Men or women in power may use their power to get what they want... including your man! You spend 40+ hours per week with your co-workers... depending on your schedules... you may not spend that with your spouse.
Sometimes a man needs to reassure himself... he wants to make sure "He still has it" and by cheating, that will confirm that he does. The male ego is a very delicate thing and needs to be stroked from time to time. There may also be self esteem issues, where it is necessary to make himself feel better... or he is unable to be in a productive relationship because he is unhappy with himself.
WHAT A RUSH... It could be just for the adrenaline. Sneaking around without getting caught. Going back to the thrill of the chase. Remember when you first started making love to your partner? There was a lot more foreplay... a lot more passion... but now it's just like hurry up and let me get some before I go to sleep. The need to get back to that original passion may be the driving force.
This is 2009 and women are going for what they want, including your man. Women are initiating these extra marital affairs as well. Do you get mad if your man comes home and he doesn't have his wedding ring on? This may actually be a good thing. Many of my married friends say that having that wedding band on is like a magnet. Women know they can get what they want without a commitment. (Yes there are women out there too that want to have sex without commitment.) I was thinking about going out and buying a wedding band and wearing it to the club!
You have to stop allowing it to happen. That's Right! One of the reasons it happens is because you allow it. How many times has a man cheated on you and sweet talked his way back into your bed? Promised it wouldn't happen again? Or would you would rather deal with a cheating man than be alone? If he cheated on you when you were his girlfriend or fiancee... he's probably gonna cheat when he's your husband.
Women often say absence makes the heart grow fonder... which may be true. But don't become to involved in playing the "unavailable" game. Men say while the cats away the mouse will play. It's true that spending too much time with your mate will make the relationship become routine a lot faster, but it's necessary to have that balance so he doesn't find someone else to fill that free time.
I believe I touched on this in one of my previous posts... If a man eats lobster every day for 365 days, eventually he's gonna want a hamburger. So the answer to the reason why men cheat is because... the only thing better than a cookie... is a new cookie! But that's just Trey's Opinion.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Are There Any Good Black Women Left???
We often hear the question "Are There Any Good Black Men Left?". Well I'm asking... Are There Any Good Women Left? Are these women posing the question Are There Any Good Men... Good Women? We may still be unclear on exactly what a "Good Man" is... attractive, physically fit, gainfully employed, no baby mama drama, intelligent, good sense of humor, etc??? Well let's turn the question around!
Are the women asking this question attractive women? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so I can't answer this question without bias; however, most attractive women are hot commodities.
Are the women physically fit? Time has an effect on our bodies... and let's face it... none of us are getting any younger. As women get older there body doesn't bounce bacck like it use to after having a baby. Something I heard on the radio, I'm not sure if it's tue... is that a lot of black women don't go to the gym!
Are the women gainfully employed? Today, there are a large amount of women that are going to college, pursuing a career and holding it down on there own. However, there are still women that are caught up in the system or use men as a source of income. These women would also be considered a hot commodity.
Do these women have baby daddy drama? If women are concerned about a man having baby mama drama... that means we have to be concerned about baby daddy drama... sometimes multiple baby daddy drama. As I am approaching 40 I find it more difficult to find a woman with no children or maybe just one.
Black women out number black men approximately 100 to 87. So let's say out of the 87 men 20 are in relationships, 20 are in jail, 20 are "No Good" 20 are "Undateable" and 6 are gay. That would leave 1 good man out of 87. Now... on the other hand out of the 100 women 25 are in relationships, 20 have multiple baby daddy drama, 20 are "Undateable", 20 are caught up in the system and 14 are gay. That would leave one good woman. Now what are the odds of the one good man finding the one good woman? Pretty slim I would say... I think it's time we all adjust our standards... But that's just Trey's Opinion!
Are the women asking this question attractive women? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so I can't answer this question without bias; however, most attractive women are hot commodities.
Are the women physically fit? Time has an effect on our bodies... and let's face it... none of us are getting any younger. As women get older there body doesn't bounce bacck like it use to after having a baby. Something I heard on the radio, I'm not sure if it's tue... is that a lot of black women don't go to the gym!
Are the women gainfully employed? Today, there are a large amount of women that are going to college, pursuing a career and holding it down on there own. However, there are still women that are caught up in the system or use men as a source of income. These women would also be considered a hot commodity.
Do these women have baby daddy drama? If women are concerned about a man having baby mama drama... that means we have to be concerned about baby daddy drama... sometimes multiple baby daddy drama. As I am approaching 40 I find it more difficult to find a woman with no children or maybe just one.
Black women out number black men approximately 100 to 87. So let's say out of the 87 men 20 are in relationships, 20 are in jail, 20 are "No Good" 20 are "Undateable" and 6 are gay. That would leave 1 good man out of 87. Now... on the other hand out of the 100 women 25 are in relationships, 20 have multiple baby daddy drama, 20 are "Undateable", 20 are caught up in the system and 14 are gay. That would leave one good woman. Now what are the odds of the one good man finding the one good woman? Pretty slim I would say... I think it's time we all adjust our standards... But that's just Trey's Opinion!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Never Judge A Book By It's Cover
Never Judge A Book By It's Cover... We often hear this saying... but do we really follow it? I am a 38 year old single male with no kids, never been married, above average intelligence and gainfully employed. I am a fairly light skinned guy. I am clean cut. I wear suits. I can articulate a sentence. I would consider myself a good man... but how am I perceived?
A lot of those qualities would be considered qualities of a good man... but is that what you are really looking for?
38 and no kids... WOW... something must be wrong with him... why doesn't he have any kids? Never married... WOW nobody wants him... he has a fear of commitment... something must be wrong. He's smart... must be a nerd.. boring... corny. He's clean cut and wears suits and can articulate a sentence without every word being slang... He probably only dates white girls.
Like Paul Mooney said... I guess I make Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X. But that's judging a book by the cover. I consider myself a chamillion I can go to a bar in the hood or a 5 star restaurant. I can chill with the fellas or go to a business meeting. I may not wear my pants hanging around my ankles or have dreads or cornrows (I'm follically challenged) but that doesn't mean I'm not down.
You would be surprised at the amount of times I approach an African American female in the club and she says... I didn't think you would approach me... you look like the type of guy that only dates white girls. You are making assumptions without getting to know me.
I'm gangsta... that's right... I said it... I'm gangsta... but my gangsta is on a corporate level. I'm gonna wear my suit... and go to work, but I'm going to use my street knowledge to gain as much knowledge to carry my game to the next level and translate that into my own thing... or use my street smarts to analysis a situation and figure out how I can turn that into a hustle. Sometimes it's necessary to play the role. I am a Black Man in White America.
So basically this goes back to a previous post (Are there any good men left... go read my previous post) There are good men left; however, you have to Stop Judging A Book By It's Cover. Are you looking in the right places or are you Judging the Book By The Cover without giving him a chance. I'm not saying all women, because I do believe as women become older and more mature they do appreciate this type of male.
My favorite saying is... Don't Let The Smooth Taste Fool Ya... This saying is usually used in association with alcohol... because it may taste good but still get you drunk off your butt. I may look a certain way, but I will surprise you and knock you on your butt. So ladies, It's time you stop letting the smooth taste fool ya... but that's just Treys Opinion
A lot of those qualities would be considered qualities of a good man... but is that what you are really looking for?
38 and no kids... WOW... something must be wrong with him... why doesn't he have any kids? Never married... WOW nobody wants him... he has a fear of commitment... something must be wrong. He's smart... must be a nerd.. boring... corny. He's clean cut and wears suits and can articulate a sentence without every word being slang... He probably only dates white girls.
Like Paul Mooney said... I guess I make Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X. But that's judging a book by the cover. I consider myself a chamillion I can go to a bar in the hood or a 5 star restaurant. I can chill with the fellas or go to a business meeting. I may not wear my pants hanging around my ankles or have dreads or cornrows (I'm follically challenged) but that doesn't mean I'm not down.
You would be surprised at the amount of times I approach an African American female in the club and she says... I didn't think you would approach me... you look like the type of guy that only dates white girls. You are making assumptions without getting to know me.
I'm gangsta... that's right... I said it... I'm gangsta... but my gangsta is on a corporate level. I'm gonna wear my suit... and go to work, but I'm going to use my street knowledge to gain as much knowledge to carry my game to the next level and translate that into my own thing... or use my street smarts to analysis a situation and figure out how I can turn that into a hustle. Sometimes it's necessary to play the role. I am a Black Man in White America.
So basically this goes back to a previous post (Are there any good men left... go read my previous post) There are good men left; however, you have to Stop Judging A Book By It's Cover. Are you looking in the right places or are you Judging the Book By The Cover without giving him a chance. I'm not saying all women, because I do believe as women become older and more mature they do appreciate this type of male.
My favorite saying is... Don't Let The Smooth Taste Fool Ya... This saying is usually used in association with alcohol... because it may taste good but still get you drunk off your butt. I may look a certain way, but I will surprise you and knock you on your butt. So ladies, It's time you stop letting the smooth taste fool ya... but that's just Treys Opinion
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
We've Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty
We've Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty. (Indoctrinated as defined by Webster on-line dictionary 1 : to instruct especially in fundamentals or rudiments 2 : to imbue with a usually partisan or sectarian opinion, point of view, or principle.)
These are the words of Meshell Ndegeocello, {if you don't know who she is... because her music is a little alternative... I suggest you pick up her album Plantation Lullabies from 93 (one of my favorite albums of all time)} and it's one of the most powerful statements EVER!!! We've Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty. What does this mean?
Dating back to slavery, a black man could not even make eye contact with a white woman. The perception of white being so beautiful still controls our minds today. Models are tall and thin, have beautiful flowing hair and certain other qualities that attract us to them. This is one of the reasons men date light skinned women... the closest thing to white, they may have the longer hair and the facial features that have been pounded into our head as beautiful. Women feed into this by purchasing weaves, eye lashes, make-up, colored contacts, nose surgery to make their broad nose thin, breast augmentation, removing a rib to have more of a "Coke Bottle Figure" and other surgeries to make themselves feel more attractive.
What happen to the natural? You know just an afro with a pick with a black fist? I've dated women for long periods of time and never saw their real hair. Is it just the fact that it's easier to maintain a weave, it gives you more options, or you don't like your natural hair? What's up with the blond weave that black women wear? We know your hair's not blond!!! What about the perm? I think it was on a Public Enemy CD where I heard... It's not a perm... it's a temporary.
The eye lashes and mascara... do men really care how long or think your eye lashes are? I have never seen a woman and said "Her eye lashes are banging... I gotta talk to her!" What about the colored contacts... Your eyes was brown last week now they are blue or green??? Hummm...
I've dated women that spend hours in front of the mirror... I rather see your natural beauty, not somebody that is keeping Maybelline in business. You looked good last night... but once you washed it all off and woke up in the morning it was a completely different person.
The biggest issue seems to be your body... The model on TV is a size zero... she hasn't eaten since 91!!! Go eat a steak!!! Ladies, it's not necessary to be a size zero to be attractive, booty is in!!! White girls is even gettin booty!!! I don't know where they are getting it from, might be the steroids in the chicken, but it's happening. I believe that as long as it's in proportion it's OK, whether it's a size 5/6... 11/12 or whatever.
If you see a black man with a white woman, 85% of the time it's a white woman white men didn't want any way... unless he's making a lot of money. If you see a black woman with a white man 85% of the time she is attractive... cause he probably has money, or she's feed up with black men or whatever the reason she is usually attractive. Is the black man just happy to get any white woman because he still has this image that white is beautiful in his mind?
We Have Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty... and I guess i fall into that category. If you wanna wear a weave, contacts, etc... that's alright by me. If you have the receipt for your weave... possession is 9/10ths of the law, it's your hair. I guess this all falls back to what I have mentioned in previous posts... It's all a matter of preference... but that's just Trey's Opinion.
These are the words of Meshell Ndegeocello, {if you don't know who she is... because her music is a little alternative... I suggest you pick up her album Plantation Lullabies from 93 (one of my favorite albums of all time)} and it's one of the most powerful statements EVER!!! We've Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty. What does this mean?
Dating back to slavery, a black man could not even make eye contact with a white woman. The perception of white being so beautiful still controls our minds today. Models are tall and thin, have beautiful flowing hair and certain other qualities that attract us to them. This is one of the reasons men date light skinned women... the closest thing to white, they may have the longer hair and the facial features that have been pounded into our head as beautiful. Women feed into this by purchasing weaves, eye lashes, make-up, colored contacts, nose surgery to make their broad nose thin, breast augmentation, removing a rib to have more of a "Coke Bottle Figure" and other surgeries to make themselves feel more attractive.
What happen to the natural? You know just an afro with a pick with a black fist? I've dated women for long periods of time and never saw their real hair. Is it just the fact that it's easier to maintain a weave, it gives you more options, or you don't like your natural hair? What's up with the blond weave that black women wear? We know your hair's not blond!!! What about the perm? I think it was on a Public Enemy CD where I heard... It's not a perm... it's a temporary.
The eye lashes and mascara... do men really care how long or think your eye lashes are? I have never seen a woman and said "Her eye lashes are banging... I gotta talk to her!" What about the colored contacts... Your eyes was brown last week now they are blue or green??? Hummm...
I've dated women that spend hours in front of the mirror... I rather see your natural beauty, not somebody that is keeping Maybelline in business. You looked good last night... but once you washed it all off and woke up in the morning it was a completely different person.
The biggest issue seems to be your body... The model on TV is a size zero... she hasn't eaten since 91!!! Go eat a steak!!! Ladies, it's not necessary to be a size zero to be attractive, booty is in!!! White girls is even gettin booty!!! I don't know where they are getting it from, might be the steroids in the chicken, but it's happening. I believe that as long as it's in proportion it's OK, whether it's a size 5/6... 11/12 or whatever.
If you see a black man with a white woman, 85% of the time it's a white woman white men didn't want any way... unless he's making a lot of money. If you see a black woman with a white man 85% of the time she is attractive... cause he probably has money, or she's feed up with black men or whatever the reason she is usually attractive. Is the black man just happy to get any white woman because he still has this image that white is beautiful in his mind?
We Have Been Indoctrinated and Convinced By The White Racist Standards of Beauty... and I guess i fall into that category. If you wanna wear a weave, contacts, etc... that's alright by me. If you have the receipt for your weave... possession is 9/10ths of the law, it's your hair. I guess this all falls back to what I have mentioned in previous posts... It's all a matter of preference... but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
BLACK PEOPLE, PLEASE, READ & HEED. POIGNANT.The sad thing about this article is that the essence of it is true. The truth hurts. I just hope this sets more Black people in motion towards making real progress. Chris Rock, a Black comedian, even joked that Blacks don't read.Help prove them wrong! Read and pass on.
Please Note:For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote it.Dee Lee, CFPHarvard Financial EducatorsDee Lee
THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.
Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it ina book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous booksreadily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Book- stores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along),but few read consistently, if at all.
GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal.Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christ-mas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it.Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, Andthey still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them "Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has evenjeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profitsfrom our businesses that we market to them.
SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "TalentedTenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfish- ness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Theirso-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.They are content to sit in conferences and conven- tions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness?
They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under thecontrol of our pens in our offices and our rooms.Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communi- ties by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels.
By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!
(Prove them wrong. Please pass this on! After Reading it..)
Please Note:For those of you who heard it, this is the article Dee Lee was reading this morning on a New York radio station. For those of you who didn't hear it, this is very deep. This is a heavy piece and a Caucasian wrote it.Dee Lee, CFPHarvard Financial EducatorsDee Lee
THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.
Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it ina book." We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous booksreadily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Book- stores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along),but few read consistently, if at all.
GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal.Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christ-mas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it.Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, Andthey still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them "Status" or that they have achieved their Dream.They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has evenjeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profitsfrom our businesses that we market to them.
SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "TalentedTenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success.However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfish- ness lets their egos get in the way of their goal Theirso-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.They are content to sit in conferences and conven- tions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness?
They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under thecontrol of our pens in our offices and our rooms.Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communi- ties by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels.
By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!
(Prove them wrong. Please pass this on! After Reading it..)
Lines of Communication
Okay boys and girls... Is this high school or what? It shouldn't be about waiting to see who's gonna call who first. If you meet somebody and you like them... Does the man have to call first? Is it Okay for a woman to call first? Does it really matter? Have you missed out on a nice guy because you refused to call him first? What if he's busy... or shy... or not a phone person? Is a text acceptable for a first communication? It's not that serious... if you like a guy, pick up the phone and give him a call.
Text messaging is a very powerful tool and I hate to say this... but most guys love text because sometimes women like to talk too much and this way we can keep it straight and to the point. Again, this isn't high school. I'm not trying to stay on the phone all night... remember back in the day... you hang up first... no you hang up first... okay... same time on three... one... two... three... You didn't hang up!!! You didn't hang up either and then you fall asleep on the phone... wake up a couple hours later with the phone cord wrapped around your neck. Some of you might not remember when phones had cords!
You also have to be careful with phone calls and texts. Just because a man calls you, doesn't mean he likes you. Do you have a guy you don't talk to that often... you might get a text or phone call like every Wednesday or Thursday. I hate to tell you this, but he's probably just trying to line up some booty for the weekend. Just a feeler text or phone call to see what kinda feedback he gets then it's on to the next one in alphabetical order.
Since we are talking about phones... it is not okay to go thru your mans phone. If you don't trust him... you probably shouldn't be with him! Going thru the phone is very high school. Most likely he is going to delete the call history before he gets to your house anyway, and once he gets to your house the ringer is placed on silence and the phone is face down on the table. If you have broken codes on cell phones or emails... or even worse called somebody out of the cell phone. WOW! Is it that serious? Have you ever cost your man some potential income because you called somebody that was a business associate or client?
Everybody has a cell phone now... and at one point or another they will all get us in trouble... but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Text messaging is a very powerful tool and I hate to say this... but most guys love text because sometimes women like to talk too much and this way we can keep it straight and to the point. Again, this isn't high school. I'm not trying to stay on the phone all night... remember back in the day... you hang up first... no you hang up first... okay... same time on three... one... two... three... You didn't hang up!!! You didn't hang up either and then you fall asleep on the phone... wake up a couple hours later with the phone cord wrapped around your neck. Some of you might not remember when phones had cords!
You also have to be careful with phone calls and texts. Just because a man calls you, doesn't mean he likes you. Do you have a guy you don't talk to that often... you might get a text or phone call like every Wednesday or Thursday. I hate to tell you this, but he's probably just trying to line up some booty for the weekend. Just a feeler text or phone call to see what kinda feedback he gets then it's on to the next one in alphabetical order.
Since we are talking about phones... it is not okay to go thru your mans phone. If you don't trust him... you probably shouldn't be with him! Going thru the phone is very high school. Most likely he is going to delete the call history before he gets to your house anyway, and once he gets to your house the ringer is placed on silence and the phone is face down on the table. If you have broken codes on cell phones or emails... or even worse called somebody out of the cell phone. WOW! Is it that serious? Have you ever cost your man some potential income because you called somebody that was a business associate or client?
Everybody has a cell phone now... and at one point or another they will all get us in trouble... but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Think I Better Let It Go... Looks Like Another Love TKO
Getting into a relationship can be a lot like boxing. We all bring baggage into our new relationships. Experience is gained from past relationships, and you will carry those experiences with you for the rest of your life. You probably picked up something from your last relationship... whether it was good or bad. After a bad experience you may build walls to protect yourself from repeating the same mistake. It's understandable to keep your guard up to protect yourself from that Mike Tyson blow.
After the last man dogged you out... you probably have built The Great Wall of China around yourself. You may have a really good man trying to court you but you are so damaged from your past relationships you are not willing to let him in. It's definitely risky to open yourself up to be hurt again... but how will you know if this is the right man for you unless you allow yourself to let him in. Like I said... this is a boxing match... so you should keep your guard up but if you keep shutting him down he will eventually act like cockroaches when the light comes on and flee.
Nobody wants to be hurt... but we all have dealt with it before and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. You have to be willing to wear your heart on your sleeve if you really like somebody and you want to make it work. The hurt will pass and you will be able to eventually move on.
No matter what the previous man did to you, you are now dealing with a brand new unique individual. Don't make that man pay for the mistakes the previous man made. Again, this is a boxing match and he may start to wear you down after a few rounds... but watch out for that over-hand right. Some men have alternative motives and may put in the time to wear you down just to hit you with the sucker punch... but it's nothing you can do but chalk it up to experience. Not all men are the same... and it would be foolish to act as such. It's wise to keep your guard up... but don't allow your knight in shining armor to ride off in the sunset because you are dealing with issues from previous relationship... but that's just Trey's Opinion
After the last man dogged you out... you probably have built The Great Wall of China around yourself. You may have a really good man trying to court you but you are so damaged from your past relationships you are not willing to let him in. It's definitely risky to open yourself up to be hurt again... but how will you know if this is the right man for you unless you allow yourself to let him in. Like I said... this is a boxing match... so you should keep your guard up but if you keep shutting him down he will eventually act like cockroaches when the light comes on and flee.
Nobody wants to be hurt... but we all have dealt with it before and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. You have to be willing to wear your heart on your sleeve if you really like somebody and you want to make it work. The hurt will pass and you will be able to eventually move on.
No matter what the previous man did to you, you are now dealing with a brand new unique individual. Don't make that man pay for the mistakes the previous man made. Again, this is a boxing match and he may start to wear you down after a few rounds... but watch out for that over-hand right. Some men have alternative motives and may put in the time to wear you down just to hit you with the sucker punch... but it's nothing you can do but chalk it up to experience. Not all men are the same... and it would be foolish to act as such. It's wise to keep your guard up... but don't allow your knight in shining armor to ride off in the sunset because you are dealing with issues from previous relationship... but that's just Trey's Opinion
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Has the Recession Affected Your Relationship?
The economy is rough right now and most people are affected by high gas prices, high rent, high insurance, high taxes, high food prices, etc.
Taking these factors into consideration... do you find yourself being asked on less dates? Have you been conversing with a guy and wondering why he hasn't asked you out? Maybe he can't take you to that 5 star restaurant you insisted on. Would you consider a walk in the park, going to the beach, how about movie night at home? Other economical dates could include playing pool, bowling, free concerts, or a museum. Take a brother's pockets into consideration when selecting your plans for the evening... It's hard out here and fast money has slowed up.
Unemployment is definitely on the rise. Companies are closing down and people are being laid off every day. If a man you were dating for over a year was to loose his job... would you stand by him? How long would you stand by him if he was actively seeking employment? How about if it the only thing he could find involved a large salary cut? Would you be out on the next thing smoking? These are very real questions that you must think about, because it's becoming a reality for a lot of couples and families. Finances are a very fragile topic and can result in the downfall of a relationship... now more than ever, but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Taking these factors into consideration... do you find yourself being asked on less dates? Have you been conversing with a guy and wondering why he hasn't asked you out? Maybe he can't take you to that 5 star restaurant you insisted on. Would you consider a walk in the park, going to the beach, how about movie night at home? Other economical dates could include playing pool, bowling, free concerts, or a museum. Take a brother's pockets into consideration when selecting your plans for the evening... It's hard out here and fast money has slowed up.
Unemployment is definitely on the rise. Companies are closing down and people are being laid off every day. If a man you were dating for over a year was to loose his job... would you stand by him? How long would you stand by him if he was actively seeking employment? How about if it the only thing he could find involved a large salary cut? Would you be out on the next thing smoking? These are very real questions that you must think about, because it's becoming a reality for a lot of couples and families. Finances are a very fragile topic and can result in the downfall of a relationship... now more than ever, but that's just Trey's Opinion.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Lovers and Friends
Can men and women be friends? In most situations, when a man meets a woman it is his intention to be more than friends. Often a man finds himself placed into the friend zone. The man will stay in this category in hopes that one day it will be more. As a woman dates loser after loser... he waits in the background, often consulting her through these relationships. He will listen to story after story of how unhappy you are in your relationship, just waiting for the opportunity.
Time passes and the two of you become closer, he may be falling in love with you... but you aren't willing to cross the friendship line. In your eyes he's more like your brother. Is it okay to cross that friendship line? Once that friendship line is crossed, can you go back to being friends if the relationship doesn't work out? Every situation is unique and should be treated as such. The friendship may be ruined or that may really be your soul mate. There's really no way to tell unless you take that chance, but you have to be willing to sacrifice the friendship if you can't go back.
From a males point of view there are only two types of women... Women they have slept with and women they haven't slept with yet (Unless he just isn't attracted to you). If you have a male friend and you haven't crossed that line, at some point he has looked at you and wondered what it would be like to have sex with you. I don't care if he's like your brother... yes him too!!! That doesn't mean he is going to pursue it... It's just how the male mind works.
I do believe men and women can be friends without sleeping together. But the thought will always be in the back of his mind... but that's only Trey's Opinion.
Time passes and the two of you become closer, he may be falling in love with you... but you aren't willing to cross the friendship line. In your eyes he's more like your brother. Is it okay to cross that friendship line? Once that friendship line is crossed, can you go back to being friends if the relationship doesn't work out? Every situation is unique and should be treated as such. The friendship may be ruined or that may really be your soul mate. There's really no way to tell unless you take that chance, but you have to be willing to sacrifice the friendship if you can't go back.
From a males point of view there are only two types of women... Women they have slept with and women they haven't slept with yet (Unless he just isn't attracted to you). If you have a male friend and you haven't crossed that line, at some point he has looked at you and wondered what it would be like to have sex with you. I don't care if he's like your brother... yes him too!!! That doesn't mean he is going to pursue it... It's just how the male mind works.
I do believe men and women can be friends without sleeping together. But the thought will always be in the back of his mind... but that's only Trey's Opinion.
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