Monday, August 17, 2009

Why Do Black Men Cheat???

Ok... I'm gonna try to talk about the question I am sure you are all dying to hear the answer. Now remember this is only Trey's Opinion... so I can only give it to you from my perspective.

I consider myself to be a pretty faithful guy... to the point where my male friends are amazed; however, if I am dating that's a different story. Now once I have made the commitment that it will be me and that person... that's what it is. When the love making becomes boring or routine I will purchase outfits or make suggestions for improvement. If that doesn't work, I will end the relationship before I cheat.

So... Why do black men cheat? There are numerous reason why black men cheat. It may be Primal Instinct... It may be the need to conquer as many women as possible... But I think it's much deeper than that.

Three out of four men cheat... why? For one reason, it's easier than ever before! With the assistance of advance technology such as cell phones, email, voicemail and the Internet it's much easier to maintain contact with that mistress. MySpace,, BlackPeoplemeet and other dating websites make it easier than ever to reach out to women that he may have never been able to contact before and be discrete with his communication.

There are more women in the workplace and lunch with a co-worker can lead to a lot more now. Men or women in power may use their power to get what they want... including your man! You spend 40+ hours per week with your co-workers... depending on your schedules... you may not spend that with your spouse.

Sometimes a man needs to reassure himself... he wants to make sure "He still has it" and by cheating, that will confirm that he does. The male ego is a very delicate thing and needs to be stroked from time to time. There may also be self esteem issues, where it is necessary to make himself feel better... or he is unable to be in a productive relationship because he is unhappy with himself.

WHAT A RUSH... It could be just for the adrenaline. Sneaking around without getting caught. Going back to the thrill of the chase. Remember when you first started making love to your partner? There was a lot more foreplay... a lot more passion... but now it's just like hurry up and let me get some before I go to sleep. The need to get back to that original passion may be the driving force.

This is 2009 and women are going for what they want, including your man. Women are initiating these extra marital affairs as well. Do you get mad if your man comes home and he doesn't have his wedding ring on? This may actually be a good thing. Many of my married friends say that having that wedding band on is like a magnet. Women know they can get what they want without a commitment. (Yes there are women out there too that want to have sex without commitment.) I was thinking about going out and buying a wedding band and wearing it to the club!

You have to stop allowing it to happen. That's Right! One of the reasons it happens is because you allow it. How many times has a man cheated on you and sweet talked his way back into your bed? Promised it wouldn't happen again? Or would you would rather deal with a cheating man than be alone? If he cheated on you when you were his girlfriend or fiancee... he's probably gonna cheat when he's your husband.

Women often say absence makes the heart grow fonder... which may be true. But don't become to involved in playing the "unavailable" game. Men say while the cats away the mouse will play. It's true that spending too much time with your mate will make the relationship become routine a lot faster, but it's necessary to have that balance so he doesn't find someone else to fill that free time.

I believe I touched on this in one of my previous posts... If a man eats lobster every day for 365 days, eventually he's gonna want a hamburger. So the answer to the reason why men cheat is because... the only thing better than a cookie... is a new cookie! But that's just Trey's Opinion.


  1. Ok, I am soooo in love with you right now.. you have just enlightened me to things that have been on my mind for so long... Thank you and now I can move on...Great I will be back for another dose of reailty..

  2. When the love making becomes will end the relationship before you cheat??? WHAT? Where's the L-O-V-E? Or do you get into relationships just for sex..haha..