Thursday, August 20, 2009

Why Black Men Date Outside Of Their Race

I know this is going to be a sensitive subject... so if you have thin skin... PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!! As always, this is only my opinion... I can't speak for all black men... I can only tell it from my perspective.

Personally I do not discriminate due to race creed or color. I have dated white girls, girls from Burma, the Philippines, Guyana, Mulatto, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Costa Rica, South Africa, West Africa, Brazil, London, Poland, Mexico and other parts of the world. For me it wasn't that I was pursuing a certain thing... I found the woman attractive. Don't get it twisted the majority of the women I have dated have been black. I've dated extremely light skinned women to women so dark when they got out the car the oil light came on... so dark they would walk down the street and the lights would come on... so dark they had to get a tattoo in white.

First of all, I believe from my experience I am stereotyped by black women... So a woman from around the way may not find me to be her type... but if that same woman saw me with a woman from another race, I would be a sell out. Well, if I'm not your type of guy you shouldn't be concerned who I am with. A lot of women say I look like I date white women, but I have never been in a relationship with a white woman.

Secondly, I find that dating women from other countries... and I don't mean you are Dominican but you were born and raised in America... I mean a woman that has only been here for a few months or years is more appreciative of the smaller things. A woman that is born and raised in New Jersey, if you take her to Atlantic City... it's like "I've been here 100 times... the last guy I was here with got a better room... etc, etc, etc." instead of enjoying the fact that your man tried to do something nice. But a woman that has never been to Atlantic City will appreciate it a lot more because it's a new experience. There are also less likely to be "Americanized", meaning it's not all about the money or what he has... it's more about him. (It might be about a green card! But that's another topic!) Plus an accent is always cute.

But I guess the question would be why do Black Men shy away from Black Women. One reason would be that women are becoming more and more independent. Being independent is a good thing (See previous post) but again... you have to let a man be a man, and a lot of women have a hard time doing that. It's getting to the point that women are becoming so independent it makes black men feel as if they aren't needed. As long as she has some "D" batteries she will be ok.

Another reason is they will not consider a blue collar man. Good men are being overlooked because of their profession or income level. (See previous post) A lot of women expect a man to be earning a six figure income where they can just step in and go shopping, live in the big house and drive the nice car. There isn't really a desire to build things together and take it to the next level.

Black women have been said to be hot headed and have bad attitudes. Personally I think this doesn't waiver between races... but ya'll got too much enjoyment out of the song "I bust the windows out your car"

It's also said that black women stop caring about your appearance. Men are visual creatures... once you get us, you can't stop doing your hair and just coming over in a pair of sweat pants. Continue to do what you did to get us.

It's been said that black women are as sexually open as other women. I haven't found this to be true... but that's from my experience... as a matter of fact my best sexual experiences have been with dark skinned women.

Black women do not seem to be empathetic to the black mans struggle in White America. Women may think that this does not exist... but it is real! I have worked in offices for years and even though I am considered a "Safe Negro" they still look at me as a threat. We may be over-looked for jobs, promotions, or opportunities because of the color of our skin. We need our women to understand this. Remember the song with Method Man and Mary J. Blige "All I Need" sometimes we need you to rub us on our back and say it's gonna be okay.

It's also been said that black women do not cater to their men. When I was in Dominican Republic the women prepared dinner, the men sat down and ate, and the women ate what was left over. Now that's a little extreme; however, you do need to make your man feel appreciated.

Why do black men date white women? I have never seen my best friend of 30 years date a black woman... maybe 1! I believe he does this because a lot of them have low self esteem (They are usually average to below average looking, which fits into the stereotype of black men going out with less attractive white women). They are easier to manipulate so he can get what he wants from them. He can get sex from them easier without spending a lot of money and they are nastier. White women will also take abuse from black men and do anything to keep their man. White women are still considered trophies or a symbol they "Made It" which I feel dates back to the days of slavery where a black man could not even make eye contact with a white women. It's also believed that white women make it easier to get away... they don't have you all tied up with child support etc. White women will also buy things and co-sign for cars and stuff!!!

I think other reasons men date outside of their race is because of the physical attributes of other races. One reason would be hair. Some women from other races have long hair or "Good Hair" and some men find this attractive. Like I said in a previous post, I don't have a problem with weaves... but we all know you can't mess with most black woman's hair! Women from different parts of the world have exotic looks. Dating a Puerto Rican woman or Dominican woman... what I like to call "The other white meat" allows you to get the beautiful skin tones, nice hair and still get a girl with a nice booty (and the attitude)... even white girls have booties now-a-days!

All in all, I love women of all races! Women are beautiful... they come in all different colors and shapes and sizes. We are all people, if you are attracted to a man or a woman from a different race that treats you good and makes you happy then we should all be open to it without being criticized but that's just Trey's Opinion.


  1. Ok, Trey. Here's my video response. I tried to embed it but I couldnt. Here's the link:

  2. Nice job on this one Trey. Your honesty is refreshing. Lol

  3. Trey, Trey, Trey.....You gave me a headache. When do you have time to date women from all over the world? I do enjoy your posts.

  4. Please keep in mind I am 38 years old... I didn't say I dated all those women in the last week. LOL!

  5. So you've dated all types of women.. Why haven't you settled down with any one of them? Think maybe the problem is with you and not really the women?..and I mean that in the nicest way Trey:-)
    Am one of those born and raised in a foreign land, with the "cute accent" Where can I find ONE black man that wants a serious committed relationship? LOL!